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If You Can’t Say Anything Nice…

When you are expecting your first baby you are always warned about the unsolicited advice. Every man and his dog is on hand to tell you exactly what to do in every scenario, and will be adamant that their way is the BEST way. No exceptions. I was prepared for that, I knew to take it all with a pinch of salt.

You are warned about the judgement of others. If you breastfeed someone won’t agree with it being done out and about. If you bottle feed you will be questioned on why you didn’t breastfeed. If you choose to do controlled crying you are heartless, if you pick up the baby every time it cries you are making a rod for your own back. I KNEW you will be judged by other mothers.

I just wasn’t prepared for the rest of the world.

If you can't say anything nice... | People are really judgemental about circumstances they don't understand. I have written about a discussion I had with an elderly couple about crying children http://oddhogg.com

The other day I had cabin fever and just needed to get out. I had a voucher burning a hole in my purse, so I bundled Piglet into the car and headed into town. We pottered around quite nicely. Spent the voucher (on him – obviously), went for a Costa/milk break and generally milled around.

Just as we were getting ready to leave we hopped into a lift. Piglet is a bit of a strange one, and he LOVES a lift. I’ve no idea why. Every time we get into one he squeals and laughs. It really is a toss up as to whether he is happiest in the bath or in a lift.

Already in the lift was an elderly couple. Piglet was giving them all his best smiles and they were chatting away to him. They commented that he is lovely, which I of course think is a major understatement but perhaps I’m biased.

As we reach our floor and I am swivelling the pram out of the lift I hear the gentleman remark “It’s affa fine to see one that’s nae greetin’ “. If looks could kill, the glare I shot him as the lift door closed would have finished him off.

For those not accustomed to the north east of Scotland dialect, what he said was essentially “It’s really nice to see one that’s not crying”. I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt, and assume he meant that as a compliment to Piglet and I.

What right does he have to judge others on whether or not their child is crying or upset? Piglet was happy enough in that lift, but he was moaning in the queue in Next as he wanted his bottle. If we had bumped into this couple at that point would they have judged us harshly then?

Babies are exactly that – babies. They cry, they throw tantrums and generally make a scene. It happens, and it is hard enough to cope with without an audience that is passing judgement on your every move.

We have all been there, we have all had those days. No one is perfect but we’re all trying our best. Let’s lift each other up instead of putting each other down!

This post first appeared on Meet Other Mums

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