We all have fears don’t we. There’s no point in denying it, and I don’t believe anyone when they claim they’re not scared of anything. Fears are natural.
It’s all about how you handle them, isn’t it? I’m more of a run screaming kind of girl personally, but many people manage to stand their ground. Since having Piglet I’ve been increasingly aware of how my reactions may affect him. I don’t want him bolting from the room at the sight of clown (even though everyone knows they are the most terrifying thing to walk the Earth) and so it’s time I learnt to reign it in.
Piglet has a wigwam in his bedroom. It is filled with his stuffed toys and light projector and it is his safe place. When I get the hoover out in his room he always scuttles straight off to the wigwam for safety, he loves it. I often get in with him to read stories or just hang out – it is a fun little spot.
The other day I was lying on my back with the top half of my body in the wigwam. Piglet was pressing the buttons to change the colours on his projector and I was just watching and generally looking up. Up at the top of the wigwam, where the poles meet, I suddenly saw a spiders web. It wasn’t the usual wispy few strands – it was thick and I was immediately convinced there was a full blown nest there.
I quickly extracted myself from the wigwam and stupidly decided to have a quick look at the top. There was no doubt in my mind that there was a tarantula living in there – and I wanted to run.
Retreating to the safety of the opposite side of the room, which is conveniently next to the door, I tried to be rational. Somewhere deep down I knew the spider wasn’t dangerous, and that it wouldn’t hurt me or Piglet. But my goodness I didn’t want to be in there.
In the spirit of not showing my fear to Piglet I plonked myself down in the rocking chair (with a clear path to the door of course) and pretended all was fine. Then as soon as JHogg was home he was sent straight in to deal with the “problem”.
I had an ask around to see how others cope with their fears in front of their kids. I’m not surprised to see that I’m not the only trying to find ways to mask their issues!
Cassie from Gorgeous George’s Mummy said “Taking inspiration from Peppa Pig, when I’m confronted with a spider around George I try to just greet it by saying “oh hello Mr Skinny Legs, fancy seeing you here today. Are you having a nice day?” Sometimes George has caught me off guard with a spider and I’ve gasped but I’ve turned the gasp into “oh Mr Skinny legs I wasn’t expecting to see you today, what a nice surprise”. If we have to move spiders from the house outside I tell him that they like to live in plants better.”
I quite like that idea. I am definitely likely to let our a gasp or a squeal when I see something that scares me so if I can start to remember to turn it into a positive then that could really help.
Tracy from One Frazzled Mum has a major fear of eggs. She taught her daughter how to handle them from a young age so that she could help. “When cooking something involving eggs I always say she has to help me make the most important part which is the eggs. She is now a pro at scrambled eggs and bakes cakes herself to stop me wanting to throw up”
I am not scared of eggs, but I think they are the most disgusting food around. I cook them for Piglet in the hope that he doesn’t become fussy about them, and I will definitely be teaching him how to cook them from quite young!
Tracy has also written about overcoming one of her fears – you can read about it here.
Laura from Five Little Doves and I have another fear in common – heights. She is definitely a braver woman than me though! “Last month my eldest asked me to do Go Ape for his 13th birthday and because I didn’t want to let him down, I forced myself to do it. Turns out facing your fears is the best way to overcome them, I’ve promised him we can go again in the summer!”
I think it does show that we’d do anything for our kids, even if it takes us way out of our comfort zone! With some fears it will be easier for me to reign it in for others. I KNOW spiders in the UK won’t actually hurt me – but falling from a great height can!
One person I don’t share a fear with is Vicki from TippyTupps “I’m afraid of Morris dancers – I know most random fear ever! – however to mask it in front of the kids I nervously sing to have a bit of an outlet. Whilst hurriedly rushing them in the opposite direction of course!”
Now that is a bizarre fear! I like the idea of singing or humming to distract yourself – although I’m not sure everyone would like the sound of my voice.
And lastly Sophie from Mama Mei. She suffers from an eating disorder and has to work hard to keep things at bay. “I was afraid of carbs after years of Atkins diet I developed a genuine fear. But I don’t want the girls to pick up on my eating disorder and weird habits so I try to eat carbs in the day when I’m out with them so I have no time to think too much”
I’d love to know what you do to distract from the fact you’re internally freaking out around your children. Or do you not try to hide it at all and just let it all come out? Let me know in the comments!
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