Last weekend I went out for a friends birthday. Properly out-out in a bar with dancing and cocktails – the stuff of dreams. No baby to worry about (except a slight niggling at the back of my mind that I was going to have to get up with him the next morning), bedtime routines to stick to or nappies to change. Just a proper girly night out.
I had a great time, picked up a Macdonalds as we left the bar and was home in bed by 1am. The lingering thought that I’ve had from that whole night out though wasn’t about the dancing or the drinks or the laugh we had. It was:
“I am so glad I’m not single”
As soon as we stepped into the bar I could feel it. It was about 11pm on a Saturday night and there was definitely something in the air. I was having flash backs to my uni years when nights out included far more interest in men.
Looking around, I could help but feel so awful for a lot of the guys in there. One guy was very nearby and was dancing with a woman. I use “dancing” in the loosest possible sense of the word, as the poor chap looked horrifically awkward and uncomfortable with the whole situation but clearly didn’t want to disappoint the girl by not having a boogie.
Surrounding us were pockets of men (boys?) and groups of women, predominately separate. The days of regular nights out are still not so far behind me that I don’t remember the annoyance of standing or dancing with my friends and a guy trying to push into the group and get our attention. Now though, I was starting to see it from the guys side!
Basically – I was a bit confused as to how a couple tend to meet these days?!
JHogg and I met in Bulgaria on a ski trip. My sister planned the trip with some work friends and they needed a couple more people to make up the numbers. I was dating someone else at the time, but the relationship was ending. We got on well on the trip, and when I got home my relationship finished. It took 6 months for JHogg to pluck up the courage to ask me out, but he did and we’ve been together ever since.
6 years later, I have no idea how people find someone. Is it the done thing to look for a partner in a bar or club? Or is it all about online dating? I ask some friends to find out how they met their partners and this is what they said:
Run Jump Scrap “Facebook via a mutual friend. Lots of poking, chatting and the rest is history”
All About A Mini Norris “I snogged his mate first (lol) in a bar in town but ended up really fancying him. We bumped into each other again on a night out and starting dating from then on”
Five Little Doves “We met at high school yet lost touch when I married for the first time. When my marriage ended 11 years later we bumped into each other in the pub, went on our first date and we were married just over a year later!”
Thrifty Mum “A colleague of mine said I’d be perfect for his best mate but nothing ever got arranged. A year later a local shopkeeper said I’d be perfect for her next door neighbour. She organised us to go on a blind date and he turned out to be the same person! Five years later we’re still together, been married for three years and have two boys”
Island Living 365 “At the Christmas work party . He was like my Mr Darcy, parting the sea of drunk work colleagues in order to save me from a wheel of flaming vodkas that someone was trying to force on me “
Actually Mummy “We met on a ski holiday. He organised it, and I was there to make up numbers with my friend. It was a big group holiday, and I really hit it off with one of his mates. To the extent that we got together over the course of the week. Of course, the holiday romance ended with the holiday, but when Jason started calling people to gauge interest in another trip, he and I spent ages talking on the phone. It went from there, and 4 years later we were married. We still laugh about how we met on holiday, but I was more interested in his friend than in him!”
Devon Mama “Met my husband at work. We worked together on a campaign and the emails just led from there. One night I got a little drunk and added him on Facebook before asking him out! Who knew I was that forward?!”
Edinburgh With Kids “We met the photocopier at work! Totally cliche! After a year or so we started dating. The rest is history”
Scandi Mummy “We met at the bridge table at our local club. Definitely not your usual pick up place”
TippyTupps “We are such a cliché – the older girl meets a boy next door toyboy. I thought it would be great for a bit of fun and 11 years, marriage and 2 kids later…..I’m considering keeping him”
Then There Were Three “My friend was engaged to his best mate and they set us up. We didn’t meet for 2 months as he was in Iraq, but we sent recent photos of each other. When we eventually met I realised his photos were definitely not recent at all – they were from about 7 years before and he looked completely different and I thought I’d been catfished. Luckily we got on and now are married with a daughter and another on the way. Although our friends broke up not long after and still make it awkward ha!”
As expected, there’s no one size fits all for finding a partner. Being set up through a mutual friend does seem quite popular though – clearly JHogg and I aren’t overly unique after all!