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Compassion is the ability to understand the predicaments of others and to have sympathy for them and the desire to help. Children of course are not born with this ability and in fact, toddlers can be downright mean! They don’t mean to be unkind though – it’s simply that they haven’t yet learned empathy.
Empathy is learned from around the age of 4 or 5 although some children learn sooner. The difference between empathy and compassion is that of action or desired action. Empathy describes the feelings we have when we see someone hurt or sad. Compassion is the feeling of wanting to help.
This international school in the UK takes great care to ensure that pupils are learning in a gentle environment where feelings are taken seriously and all children feel that they are heard.
Teaching Compassion
Showing is of course better than telling. Every time you pick your child up after a fall or a scare, you’re showing compassion. When your child sees you comfort an animal or another person, they’re seeing compassion in action. Encouraging your child to comfort their sibling is a good place to begin.
Talk about feelings
Discussion around feelings is vital for children. Helping them to understand their own feelings should come first.
Small children cannot yet name or understand all of their feelings. For example – jealousy isn’t one they may often encounter so it helps to explain these feelings and to name them.
Once a child understands what feelings are, then they will begin to have compassion as they recognise them in others. Some children understand these things sooner than others. Just like other skills such as reading or walking, they’re picked up at different rates.
Don’t worry too much if your small child isn’t very compassionate. Keep showing them the right way forward and they will soon pick it up. A compassionate child will always be a popular child as other children feel they can trust them.
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