Ah mum guilt. I had heard so much about it before having Piglet but that in no way prepared me for the way it actually feels. It has hit me hard in the last few weeks and I have no doubt that it’s not about to end any time soon.
Despite Piglet having 2 sets of grandparents that are happy to watch him (or at least they were – maybe not now he’s started biting!) I have started to be reluctant to leave him. It’s not that I don’t want the down time, quite the opposite in fact. But I feel too guilty to keep going out.
Any one who knows me will confirm I’m a bit of a recluse. I don’t crave wild nights out and I’m more than happy at home with a movie and a bar of chocolate, maybe go crazy and have a gin too. Our social life took a bit of a turn recently however, when we received 3 wedding invitations in 2 weeks.
Like any other sensible person out there I love a good wedding. Any excuse to get dolled up in our fancy clothes is great as far as I’m concerned. In fact, if I could ditch all other nights out and just go to weddings from now on I’d be happy!
The problem with all these weddings is the childcare. Piglet is alternating between the grandparents for a night at a time as we go to each wedding, and I’m just not happy with it. I hate being that person who pawns their kids off constantly.
He loves spending time with family, and I’ve never had an issue with him going to sleep there or had to be worried about him being upset with us not being there. But at the moment when I drop him off so we can go and do something fun without him I’m left with a gnawing feeling in my stomach. The feeling that I should be with him.
The result? I’ve cancelled some plans. We were meant to be going to the Banchory beer festival this weekend, it’s an event I have really enjoyed for the last 2 years and I was really looking forward to it. We had a wedding 2 weeks ago, and another one in 3 weeks time. I don’t want to be that person who ditches their kid every 2 weeks to go party. It’s not right!
He is changing so much right now. His personality shines through and he loves to play. Sure, there are bad days where is hits and bites (any tips?!), but the good far out weighs the bad.
So I’m staying at home. JHogg is still going, and one of his friends is using my ticket so it’s not going to waste. There is no point in both of us sitting around and missing out!
Cancelling some of our existing plans doesn’t get rid of the guilt I feel when I do go to weddings and other big events, but it does alleviate some of it.
Plus – who wouldn’t want to stay at home with this face?!
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